


You'll Never Walk Alone

by lavenderblossom



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: Angst, Discrimination, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, mild racial slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 16:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11513037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderblossom/pseuds/lavenderblossom
Summary: Sometimes, it's Toby who has to be the strong one.





	You'll Never Walk Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took a while to post! Things have been hectic as I've been moving but I should be able to post more now so watch this space :D  
> I really wanted to write something about the discrimination that many immigrants faced during the war, that continued to rise during post-war years. Adil's experiences are loosely based off of my own grandad's experiences after he moved to Manchester in the late 1940s from Amritsar (of course, there is some variation due to the story and the fact that my grandad's experiences were post-war). 
> 
> Also, I maaaayy~ have taken the title from Liverpool F.C. but shhhhh that's not that important :)))

Sometimes, it’s Toby who has to be the strong one. It was a reality that the younger Hamilton learned that he had to face a few weeks into his relationship with Adil and not one that he had hoped to confront any time soon. Toby had gone through life building mental walls of the toughest bricks, ones that barely cracked with every sharp word his father snapped at him. That had all changed when Adil came along. The young bartender had tore those walls down and showed Toby that it was alright to be upset, that emotions were human nature and even the strongest people cried sometimes. 

Yet Toby had never seen the man shed a tear for as long as he had known him.

Adil barely flinched when a drunk customer threw a glass to the floor, shards flying everywhere. He just shut his eyes when Toby wept into his shoulder after a long day, rhythmic rise and fall of his chest sending the young man into a sleep-like state. Adil was the support that grounded Toby Hamilton and how he did it all, Toby had no idea.

Of course, Adil Joshi is human too.

Toby had been reading a book by the lamplight, the warm amber glow flooding the room made dark from the blackout curtains. He had stepped out of the shower minutes before, turning the radiator on before slipping into his pyjamas and robe. He was about to doze off in his armchair when a sharp rap on the door jolted him awake. He rose and belted his robe tighter before unlocking the door. Before him stood Adil, looking somewhat more ruffled than usual. His usually smooth clothes were littered with wrinkles and his hair was slightly mused, Toby could immediately tell something was wrong.

“What happe-” Toby was cut off by the young man rushing past him and pushing him against the door, shutting it with a slam. Adil pressed his entire body against Toby's, kissing him like he was chasing his breath. He laced his fingers into the younger Hamilton’s hair, threading Toby’s slightly damp locks around his calloused fingers and pulling him deeper into the kiss.

“Not that I’m not ecstatic about such a warm greeting,” Toby chuckled as he pulled away, smoothing his hands down the front of the bartender’s snow-white jacket and giving his lover a warm smile, “but you seem a bit jumpy. Is everything okay?”

Adil kissed him again, hard and unrelenting. “Fine.” he said between the kisses, “Everything’s fine”. Toby felt an uneasiness growing in the pit of his stomach, he had not known the young bartender long, but he could sense that something was off. Adil kissed like champagne on a sunny day, like the gentle summer sunshine warming your skin, like chiffon curtains dancing in a soft breeze. This was waves crashing against the rocky coast, it was the biting wind lashing against your face, it was whiskey burning the back of your throat. Whatever _this_ was, it was not right.

“Adil.” Toby said sternly, tone turning firm as he pulled back from Adil’s embrace. Adil looked down at his feet, looking smaller than Toby had ever seen him. Toby cupped the man’s face with this hands, gently tipping up Adil’s chin and meeting his eyes. He saw in them a sorrow so deep he feared he would drown. He used his thumb to smooth the frown lines on Adil’s face, speaking softer now, “What happened?”

Adil just looked at him before his face crumpled. He buried his head in the taller man’s shoulder and began to shake with sobs. Toby stood stock still for a minute, completely unsure of what to do. He had never been the emotive type of person, that honour went to Freddie. Toby was more likely to give advice and pat your shoulder than to hug you and lend you an ear. Any emotional codling had been given to Freddie when they were children and thus Toby had grown up with words being more of a comfort than actions or emotions. So when the most grounded and unwavering man he had ever come across burst into tears right before his very eyes, he was left confounded.

He came to his senses when Adil’s tears began to dampen his robe. He immediately sprung into actions, tightening his arms around the man and bringing one hand to gently run his fingers through Adil’s hair. “Shhhh,” he whispered to the weeping man, “it’s okay”. He looked around for a second before slowly nudging Adil’s head off his shoulders. “Here,” he said, threading Adil’s fingers with his own and leading the man to the bed and sitting beside him on top of the covers, “tell me what’s wrong”. He didn’t let go of Adil’s hand, thumb stroking along his fingers gently as Adil sat, head still hanging low.

Both of them sat in silence for a while, the only sound being the quiet ticking of the clock or Adil’s shaky breath.

Toby tried not to look at Adil’s face for every glance brought a burst of emotion to his chest. He felt anger, he wanted to punch whoever caused Adil to shed such tears. He felt sadness, he wanted to hold Adil and tell him everything would be okay. He felt fear, he wanted all of this to be over and for things to be normal again. Never before had he felt such emotions and they piled up inside him until he felt he could not breathe. He wasn’t used to any of this, he would have stood up and left at this point were it someone else. But this was Adil.

The young man let out an unsteady huff, glancing up at Toby from the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry,” his voice was loud in the dense silence, “I-I don’t…”

“It’s okay,” Toby hushed him, shifting to face Adil and leaning in closer towards him, “take your time”.

“I just,” Adil’s voice was coarse from the tears, sending a pang of sorrow through Toby’s heart, “I don’t know. I feel like I'm drowning and I just want to forget”. He lay his head on Toby’s shoulder again, Toby pulling him closer this time and winding his arms around him. “I want to forget” Adil repeated, weeps muffled by the thick fabric of Toby’s robe. 

Toby shut his eyes as Adil burrowed further into his shoulder. He wanted to take all of Adil’s pain away, he wanted to shield him from everything in the world and freeze this moment so the two of them could sit like this for eternity. As Adil cried into his shoulder, he damned every physical thing out there with each and every fibre of his being and in a rare moment, found himself willing to trade his own happiness for someone else’s.

* * *

Adil woke a few hours later with a slight jump. Everything felt different: the sheets were less rough, the room felt warmer and there was a solid mass laying across his stomach. He blinked awake to find that he was lying on his side and that Toby was curled behind him, enveloping him in his arms. Adil smiled slightly and shut his eyes for a second, allowing himself to bask in Toby’s warmth and let the gentle flutter of his breath against the nape of Adil’s neck to lull him into a sleep-like state. After a while he shifted slightly, gently moving Toby’s arm and moving out from under him. His heart stopped when Toby slumped over, worried that he had awoken the younger Hamilton. He wasn’t surprised when Toby continues to snore, the man could sleep through a blitz. He leaned in towards the bedside clock and squinted at it, trying to make out the numbers in the dark. The handles pointed to 2.27, leaving 3 hours before Adil would have to make a move to get ready for his shift.

He sighed and moved to the edge of the bed, feet hitting the cold wooden floor. He raked a hand through his mused hair before laying his head in his hands and breathing out slowly. He couldn’t even remember what had happened the night before.

The final straw had been when the drunken man slapped his hand against the bar counter, barely able to sit upright in his chair.

“Are you the one that runs this here bar then?” He had slurred, barely able to look Adil in the eye. Adil had just smiled tightly, “Yes sir, I am the head bartender”. The man hiccuped before sneering, “what kind of establishment allows the coloured to hold such a h-high rank?” 

Adil had felt his heart drop to his stomach. Racism was not new to him, he had seen it everywhere from campaign posters to newspapers, it had become a daily way of life. However, he had not experienced face-to-face racism ever since he became employed at The Halcyon Hotel and the warm bubble of a discrimination-free life had suddenly been burst when this man walked into the bar well after Adil's shift had ended.

“I’m sure you will find that this hotel employs many different people of many different backgrounds, sir." He had gritted out, trying not to lose his temper. “There is a war on after all and we all have to help each other”.

The man snorted, “yes well this _war_ is the only reason you lot are here. Our great nation has become tainted after the likes of you showed up”

Adil tried to steady his breaths, the glass in his hand making a small, shimmering sound from the way his hand clenched around it. He told himself that the man was just drunk and that this was just the seventh whiskey talking, but he knew better. They always did say that drunk men told no lies; Adil tried to compose himself.

“Yes well, I’m sorry sir but the bar is now closed.” he said curtly, placing the glass down and shutting the cabinet of drinks behind him. The man scoffed in shock,

“Speaking of horrible service! I shall be sure to report this to your manager,” he slammed the glass down on the bar surface and began to stamp his way across the hall before turning and shouting, “that'll teach this joke of an establishment to employ coloured!” before walking out of the room with a slam of the doors. 

Adil waited until the reverberations had settled before shakily breathing out and collapsing to the floor, emotions catching up with him and settling like a weight on his chest. Tears began to prick at the corners of his eyes and he felt his throat begin to close up. He let himself to sit there for a while and allowed himself the luxury of giving in to his feelings, something he did not indulge in often. Suddenly, the floodgates opened and everything that had been building up over the last few weeks flooded his mind and with every pressing thought, he felt himself sink further. So, in the privacy of the abandoned ballroom and for the first time in days, Adil allowed himself to cry.

A ruffle of sheets woke him from his thoughts, he looked over his shoulder to see Toby stretching his arms out before blinking his eyes open confusedly. He always lived for these moments, the small bit of intimacy that was watching your lover wake up. He watched concern flash in Toby’s eyes before the man reached out to lay his hand on top of Adil’s which was nestled in the mess of sheets.

“How do you feel?” He asked, his voice gentle yet probing. Adil knew he had scared Toby last night, another thing for his already stressed mind to worry over. 

“Better.” he tried to reassure the young man with a smile yet even he could tell the attempt was futile. He turned back and looked down at the wooden floor, “I just have a lot on my mind”.

He heard the sheets shift again and from behind him a small voice said, “tell me”. 

Adil paused for a second. “Y-yesterday,” he managed to stammer out, “there was a man at the bar. He started talking about all these things and I tried to ignore him because I knew he was drunk but he just kept talking an-and I know that everyone hates people like me and that immigrants are in no way welcome here but I’ve earned my place here, I work and I pay taxes yet they still refuse to accept me and I’m just so tired of everything-”. Once the word started, they would not stop. Every frustration fell out of Adil’s mouth as he rambled on, his throat tightening in that familiar press and his voice beginning to wobble.

“Shhhhh," he felt Toby press a small kiss to his bare shoulder and rest his head against the space between Adil’s shoulders at the bottom of his neck. The light pressure at the base of his neck calmed him down slightly, it was like a rope tethering him to the shore, stopping him from getting lost in the sea of dark thoughts that inhabited his mind.

Adil hung his head, “I’m sorry”.

Toby raised his head at this, “sorry for what?”

“I’m being ridiculous,” Adil admitted, “you face this sort of thing from your parents every day and I head it once and have a full fledged breakdown. You must think me so pathetic-”

“Adil.” Toby cut him off sharply, he moved to sit next to Adil and cradled his head in his hands, “Stop this.”

Adil looked at him confusedly, “What?”  
“You are a lot of things. You’re smart and sweet and incredibly charming. You’re extremely kind and I daresay, you certainly know how to sweep a gentleman off his feet.” Adil huffed a laugh at that, making Toby smile slightly. 

“But you are in no way pathetic,” Toby’s face grew serious, eyes bearing into Adil’s, “okay? You are the strongest person I know”. 

Adil looked into Toby’s eyes and saw nothing but determination and admiration and felt himself fall deeper in love. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Toby’s, the young Hamilton dropping his hands to twine his fingers through Adil's.

“Thank you,” Adil said quietly, “for being there for me”. He cracked his eyes open to see Toby smiling gently, “It’s the very least I can do when you do so much for me”. Adil gained before closing his eyes and allowing himself to het lost in the moment. 

Adil knew that the road ahead would not be an easy one, newspapers frequently spoke about discrimination and hate crimes against immigrants and experiencing it first-hand had opened his eyes. Yet he also knew, as he felt the gentle touch of Toby’s fingers trailing over his chest as the two of them lay together amid the rustled sheets, that he would not walk this road alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback would be much appreciated xx


End file.
